'Same Love' Marriages at the Grammy!!

If you live in North Carolina, you probably know that this past week we had a rare event in the region - snow, real snow. Funny that some of us were snowed in for days because this rare event was not prepared for by the state. Coupled with low temperatures, the snow turned into ice, making it difficult for drivers in the region. Yet, as always, there are those who are always daring to embrace every situation that presents itself.  My son went out to enjoy the snow with friends and came back startled after seeing a friend’s truck do a 360 turn on the road. Yes it was bad, but it is now over.

While wondering about what to do over this period, I watched again the Grammy awards and could not help but be captivated once again by the marriages that were performed during the event. It was humbling to imagine that we need an award event like this to actually experience love, and care. The event brought tears in the eyes of many including mine. To see love being extended to those that have been discriminated against in our societies for way too long; it was a human moment that defied words for me. Thanks to the great work of artists Macklemore and Ryan Lewis in their performance of “same Love” and other performers on this event like Mary Lambert, Madonna, Queen Latifah, and Jazz at Trombone Shorty and all who put this together.   That was truly a learning moment. If you haven’t watched it, I request you to do so. See their performance at http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/macklemore-madonna-perform-same-love-674168

As I have always said in my blogs and other writings, abuse comes in many forms. Discrimination against anyone is abuse. While abuse is often sanctioned through culture, it is often sad to see it justified through religion. Ethnocentrism is a fact of life. As humans we tend to think that what we are and what we have is better that what others are or have. Wise human beings, however, are those who learn to look beyond the box they have been confined in. Actually they seek to get out of this box to explore what is out there. Out there is much more to life than what we are familiar with. What wise being have discovered about life is that this perfect life also has an imperfect life, what we have believe to be right, normal, good is just but one half of reality. Working to accept this reality is to work at being better beings. We should all strive to be better beings by learning to accept imperfections in our own lives and in our friends, and neighbor’s lives.

It is for this reason that no one should be denied love or any other basic need just because of their race, sexual orientation, age, religion or any other reason. To do so is to demonstrate ignorance about love and how love works. True love transcends these simple social categories. Therefore to insist that God condemns gay and yet he created them the way they are is to rebuke God and his creative abilities in my opinion. To argue that heterosexual relations as the only "normal" relationships because they produce children is to display ignorance on how social categories come about and especially about God as an entity. A simple question to ask is: who defines normal? Are we comfortable using the prevalence of heterosexual lifestyles to exclude other lifestyles? Would God be alright with excluding other human beings from any activity or even for that matter? Certainly not God that is preached in many religions I know. If the answer to this question is no, then all forms of discrimination are wrong and ungodly. If god created us the way we are, God loves us the way we are. Let us not deduct from God by claiming or imposing our own selfish need and expectations upon him. It is not fair.

If we truly love God as some of us claim to, then let’s love each or our neighbor, and friends in whatever form they come to us. Let’s see the human in them first before we see the imperfections they may have. Wasn’t it Jesus, a renowned philosopher and religious leader of this world- who once said, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ⁴ How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? ⁵  You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." Matthew, 7:3-5 (NIV). Who are you to judge, Pope Francis reminds us?

It is even sadder when parents disown their own children because they do not behave or act as they would like them to. A parent who disowns his/her child because he/she is gay does not deserve of that child in the first place. In fact such parents do not deserve of any child in their custodian. Parenthood is a responsibility to love and care for anyone in your custody who cares to call you mom and dad. To not do so is an abuse, whether psychological or physical, it is still an abuse.

My message in this blog is to ask all of us to transcend attitudes, behavior and acts that are discriminative of other people otherwise we are all participating in abusive behavior. To end abuse in our societies, we have to transform our thoughts and attitudes in order to accept anyone and everyone as human and worth of respect. This is a challenge that we need to spread around. If you know anyone who can use this advice, say or do something because, you never know. One act of care can actually set off the domino effect that will make someone's life better.

If you like what you read here and what we do, visit us and support us at www.wiso2011.org. With your support, we will bring you more news, messages and events on abuse in our communities. We will also reach out to those who need actual help. Also remember to invite us to speak to you and your community on these matters. We are more than happy to do so. We are here to make a change in attitudes, and physically where possible. Tell your friends about us, like us on face book and tweet us at wiso20111.

Watch the Grammy marriage herehttp://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/macklemore-madonna-perform-same-love-674168

Peace everyone!

President, WISO