Rape and Sexual Assault is abuse!!! Protect our Children

As the year ends, I thought we should reflect upon the rights of our children. I say this because I can’t seem to shake the bad taste in my mouth brought by recent news stories that continue to dominate the media about the abuse of our children. Just today, December 23, 2011, there was this story in the media about a mother who send her eight year old daughter into prostitution. An eight year old? Some of you must be wondering. Yes, indeed. The Huffington post ran a story about a Florida Mom, who allegedly offered up her 8-year-old daughter for prostitution. According to Panama City Police Sgt. Jeff Becker, Mims was at a Panama City business when she approached a random male stranger and offered her daughter to him for $100. Mims allegedly told the man that her daughter "would do anything the male wanted and would not tell anyone about it." God bless the man who displayed moral maturity by immediately reporting the incident to police. As Renee Willoughby, the executive board president of the  Gulf Coast Children's Advocacy Center, has correctly observed, "Everyone is horrified that this happened in our community, but, unfortunately, it is something that happens somewhere every day. It is just beyond words."

Not long ago, our news media was flashed by Penn State University scandal; when a trusted former Penn State assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky was charged with 52 counts of sexually molesting boys. He was charged on November 5 with 40 counts of abusing eight boys over 15 years. On December 7, he was charged with a further 12 counts of abusing two other boys. What is sickening about this story is how irresponsible adults that were aware of the abuse were. What reason would any one give for not protecting a child from a pedophile? What kind of message are adults sending our young children? 

Before we dismiss this as an isolated case, we need to think hard and be real about the situation of our children. On December 23, 2011 as I was just preparing to post this blog, there appeared again another sexual assault story about a minor. Paul Daniel Kunzler, a 34 year old Utah man was accused of raping a 13-year-old girl. Kunzler, who is being held without bail in the Salt Lake County Jail on two counts of rape, three counts of sodomy and three counts of aggravated sexual abuse of a child, was shot accidentally by his roommate. When the police conducted a search of the home he shared with four adult male roommates, they made a shocking discovery in the basement. They discovered a 13-year-old female hiding in a closet." Although it was not determined to whom the 13 year old belonged to, sexual assault of a minor was evident and Kunzler and his room maters were either aware of the abuse or involved.

One can only wonder what is happening to our social morals. When our society arrives at this sick place, we need to wake up the human in all of us. We need to do something to restore our morals.  Two fundamental questions to reflect about are:  First, how many cases like these exist out there that have not reported by the media? Second, what can we do as a community to stop this? I would like to hear from my readers. This abuse discussion seems like dejavu once again after going through sickening experience of how Catholic priests have abused young boys for a long time. We can only hope the situation is better in other congregations. Let us not forget the fact the most trusted members of our society are the ones that let us down. Parents and priests have not led by a good example. The controversy within the Catholic Church about Priests’ abuse of young boys is an area to begin.  If these priests are not held responsible for their actions the behavior cannot stop.   Similarly, parents must be held responsible for abusing or allowing their children to be abused.

It is my opinion that where trusted people in our society fail us, they should receive the ultimate punishment. Priests should be dismissed from their priestly roles while parents should be denied the opportunity to be a parent. If we cannot count on the most trusted members of our society – parents, pastors, Imams, Rabbis and other religious leaders – then our society needs to be refurbished.  Those with the spine to stand for humane values ought to do it to protect our society.  It is for this reason I write to implore our readers, especially religious leaders to advocate and protect our children. I believe my readers can do something to protect all children everywhere as well. If you see or suspect something is going on, do not dismiss it. Voice it!! Remember, where there is smoke, there often fire. Our children look upon us. Let’s not let them down.  Enjoy your happy holidays and I wish you all a prosperous, moral new year. To read more about the stories I referenced, visit the following links:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/22/sue-ellen-mims-florida

http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/12/13/us-usa-crime-coach

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/23/paul-kunzler-arrested-utah

God does not sanction abuse!!

It is interesting that some of the abuse we experience in our communities are justified by some religious leaders. For instance, some have been misled to believe that female genital cutting is sanctioned by religions such as Islam and sometimes Christianity. In some Muslims countries, honor killing is believed to be an injunction of Islam. This is not true!!

 Although in various religions such as Judaism, Islam and Christianity, the scripture is often used to justify submission of women such as insisting that women to stay in relationships such as marriage “until death do us part,” it is often forgotten that God cannot insist that you stay in an abusive relationships. Most people forget that all forms of abuse that are mentioned in the scripture are culturally based. In other words, they have nothing to do with the religious values the religion teaches. They are mere duplications of cultural practices of the communities in which these prophets lived. 

When you examine the fundamental values of most religions, they are based on love of all, justice and care of everyone. Most religions speak of compassion and how to care for our neighbors. Most religions promote the Golden rule. In Christianity for instance, the golden rule is frequently taught in the Gospels. Luke Gospel says: “Do unto others as your would have them do to you (Luke 6:31). All religious founders called upon their followers to promote social justice by caring for the oppressed. Don't you think it is contradictory to call for love of your neighbor and call for abuse at the same time? One of these statements is definitely true where religion is concerned. I think the similarities in all religions are the basis of how religious values are to be interpreted. Loving humankind is the fundamental love. Showing compassionate to each other is the ultimate value. partnership in relationships is the best relationship God would ask for. I believe that God would condemn any abusive relationship and ask those involved to part ways.

A good example here would be to look at how Jesus would respond. Jesus exemplified this when he condemned the Jewish culture that condoned the abuse of women. When an adulterous woman was brought to him for stoning according to the Jewish tradition (Lev.20:10), Jesus responded: “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone” (John 8:7). Realizing that stoning any human being is inhumane, Jesus protected the women. he did not to ignore the crime just because the Jewish law allowed it. he condemned a law that was discriminative, and abusive. He recognize the fact that this woman was human and that her human worth trumps any form of law. That is how a God thinks. Where God is involved, love prevails. Where God is not, abuse fails. if we are Godly, we should not allow any form of abuse to affect us, or our neighbors. That is what God would want us to do. Choose good, because God stands for good.  

Your friend, Mary

Arranged Marriage of unconsenting teenagers is abuse!!! Let's stop it.

Arranged marriage is abuse. Jesse Bender, a 13 year old American Pakistan girl recently fled from her home to avoid arranged marriage. Bender who shared her fears with someone she met online was desperate to escape her home because she was threatened with a forced arranged marriage which was due to take place in Pakistan.

Jesse’s mother had reported her missing on February. 22, 2011. She told authorities that her daughter was upset about having to go on a two-month vacation to her father’s native Pakistan. What her mother did not tell the authorities was that she was scheduled to be married while on this two month vacations. Several days later, Melissa Bender told investigators she was worried her daughter ran off with someone she had been communicating with on Facebook.

Her statement launched a nationwide kidnapping investigation by the FBI, US Marshals Service, and multiple law enforcement agencies fearful that the girl was with an Internet predator. As detectives began to focus on the Bender family, they learned that a relative was hiding Jessie in the nearby town of Apple Valley out of fear that she would be taken tto Pakistan for an arranged marriage at 13 years old! What is wrong with our morals? Culture that abuses our children is immoral.

The Challenge of Female Genital Cutting Amongst Immigrants

Lali, a 15 year old British - Somali girl is terrified. She is terrified of describing her recent experience of genital cutting to a journalist. She is terrified not just because she will be breaking a taboo that could lead to her death; she fears her parents will be arrested if she is discovered. "Promise you won't print my name or anything?" she pleads repeatedly. "Promise no one will ever know that I've spoken to you? If people in my community find out, they'll say that I've betrayed them, and I'll have to run away. And anyway, I don't want my parents to be sent to jail." [1]

Lali knows that to speak about genital cutting in her Somali tradition is taboo that is punishable sometimes by death. In the United States, Instances of female genital cutting continue to appear in the media even though numerous cases go unreported. Recently American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) attempted to recommend that pediatricians be allowed to perform a “a ceremonial pinprick or nick on the clitoris of new born” in order to “keep their families from sending them overseas for more “disfiguring and life threatening procedures” alludes to the seriousness of the problem in the immigrant communities.[1] The persistence of female genital cutting amongst immigrants is and sshould concern feminist and human rights activists.

According to statistics, about 140 million girls and women worldwide are living with the consequences of female circumcision (FC) also known as female genital cutting (FGC). Although the practice is prevalent in some parts of Africa, it is on the increase in developed countries such as Britain, the United States of America, Australia, and Norway to name just these. It is estimated that 66,000 women and girls living in Britain have been exposed to genital cutting. In the United States, it is estimated that 228,000 women are living with the risk of genital cutting, an increase of approximately 35percent. 27 percent of these women were believed to be less than 18 years of age.[2] The risk is especially high as family clubs work together to fly professional "cutters" from Africa to Britain and the USA. Because of the secrecy surrounding the practice, correct statistics are unavailable in most developed countries.

 

The need for our girls and women to live in fear all their lives is not only inhumane, it is also immoral especially in countries that purport to protect the human rights of all. Those of us who care feel we need to make sure that all girls and women are aware of their rights and know how to seek help in case they encounter such a situation. If anyone know and would like to help such a girl or woman by way of advocating, donations, or other forms of support. Check us on facebook at wiso2011 or email us at wiso2011@gmail.com. We will let you know how you can help.  

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[1] “Policy Statement – Ritual Genital Cutting of Female Minors,” Pediatrics: Official Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics, Vol. 125 No. 5 May 2010 p 1088-1093

[2] African Women’s Health Center, Brigham and Women’s Hospital: A Teaching Affiliate of Harvard Medical School, accessed at www.brighamandwomens.org.

This month is Domestic Violence Awareness month

Domestic Violence is a reality in our country and everywhere else. Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten. Around the world, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime. In a study by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control of 5,000 college students at over 100 colleges, 20% of women answered "yes" to the question "In your lifetime have you been forced to submit to sexual intercourse against your will?"

In the year 2000, 246,000 women survived rape and sexual assault. Most often, the abuser is a member of her own family. Female Genital Cutting (FGC) a practice associated with African, Middle Eastern and some Asian countries is a common cultural abuse of girls and women. It is estimated that 100 to 140 million girls worldwide are living with the consequences of FGC. According to the U.N.at least 2 million girls a year experience genital mutilation globally, an approximation of 6,000 new cases every day and five girls every minute. This procedure mostly performed on young girls  between infancy and age 15 is on the increase in the West as in the U.S due to immigration. Sexual trafficking, is another practice on the increase in our world today.  About 293,000 children in the U.S. are in danger of being sexually trafficked. Pimps commonly sell minor girls for $400.00 an hour on America’s streets The   girls received none of the money.

Honor killings, a practice commonly found in Middle Eastern countries is slowly creeping into the developed countries. About  About 5,000 honor killings occur annually. Many more go unreported or disguised as suicide, accidents. For instance, in 2009, a phoenix jury convicted an Iraqi Muslim of killing his 20 year old  daughter by deliberately running over her with a car for refusing an arranged marriage and for being too westernized.

In 2008, a Muslim man from Jonesboro, Georgia strangled his own daughter to death in her bed with a bungee cord because she wanted a divorce from an older man who she was forced to marry. While incidences of abuse are rampant in our communities, girls and women are especially vulnerable. We can do better to protect them from  abuse whether these are   culturally or religiously sanctioned.

Abuse is abuse and it should not be condoned. We are religious congregation to  lead on this issue. They must serve as sanctuaries for the vulnerable. Lets communicate awareness on this issue. If you want to talk, or report, contact us at wiso2011@gmail.com. We will be happt to listen and direct you way forward.

WISO - Help advocate for the rights of girls and women.

What is WISO?

WISO stands for Women’s Interfaith Support Organization. It is a non-profit group whose aim is to promote social justice especially for women who live in abusive situations and social distress. We help women who live with culturally legitimate forms of abuse such as domestic violence, rape, sexual trafficking, female genital cutting, HIV/AIDS, and other forms of child or elderly molestations.

We network with religious and other local organizations   to listen, educate, support  and identify  resources to support those in need. While the organization is currently self- funded, we also seek grants and donations to help facilitate our mission and goals. WISO was founded by Dr. Mary N. Wangila, a Professor of Religious Studies at East Carolina University whose passion is to promote health and human rights of girls, women and those in abusive situation. No one deserves to be abused. The rights of all must be protected. If you care to join us, contact us at wiso2011@gmail.com or to donate to our activities.