New Book

Hello friends and those interested in my work on abuse. I am writing to announce the publication of my book on Female Genital Cutting in Industrialized Countries. the book just got released on October 31, 2014. I am excited to share with you all experiences of children and  women in industrialized countries who live with the challenge of coming from communities that embrace this cultural practice -  http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51Acl57n77L._AA160_.jpg

While female genital cutting is embraced in certain communities in Africa, Asia and middle east as a cultural tradition, this practice is not necessarily associated with any religion because it was performed way before these religions were established. Except in indigenous communities where certain values were used to justify it, it is not justified by any scripture. In some cases we find religious leaders justifying it, hence making it difficult for some religious individuals to determine its religious implications. When as a cultural practice, female genital cutting should not be condemned, in some cases, children and women who are exposed to it are left to suffer health consequences, some of which are very severe and long term. It is because of this that the World Health Organization intervened.

In the book, I acknowledge that the practice is controversial and that different people have different opinions about the practice. I highlight political nuances that have also influenced  the discussion on the practice. Ultimately, women's interfaith support organization works at protecting children and women who do not want to be exposed to the practice.

In summary, the book comprehensively reviews existing intervention programs and community-based initiatives that protect the rights of children and women who live with the serious risks and long-term consequences of female genital mutilation.

Why is FGM is on the increase in industrialized countries in spite of existing policies against the practice? How is political correctness contributing to this increase? And how does religion contribute implicitly or explicitly to the persistence of FGM? Read        This work is authored by a Kenyan immigrant to the United States who recognizes the necessity of better protection of women’s rights regarding FGM in first-world nations and the need for these countries to recognize this issue as a serious challenge to values and health services. 

The book provides complete information about the practice of female genital cutting, explaining its origin, identifying the countries where this practice is common, and documenting the rise of FGM in industrialized nations. The second half of the book examines existing intervention programs with the goal of improving the situation by way of transforming policies, addressing the legal aspects of the issue, and improving health care services. A powerful resource for college and university level students in the humanities, social science, and medical fields, this book will also serve general readers with interest in examining challenges women grapple with internationally.

Features
• Provides complete coverage of the practice of female genital mutilation (FGM), the origin of the practice, the countries of prevalence, and the current rise of the practice in industrialized countries
• Addresses a controversial issue that encompasses various scholarly disciplines such as religious studies, gender studies, anthropology, sociology, history, philosophy, international studies, and medicine, amongst others
• Explains why FGM needs to be a subject that professional medical doctors are educated on in order to provide special health care services to help serve the individuals within this significant community

Sample Topics
Cultural Rights vs. Human Rights
Culture and Immigrants in Industrialized Countries
Culture and Social Change
Gender and Sexuality
Genital Reconstruction
Health Issues associated with FGM
Origins of FGM
Policies against FGM in Industrialized Countries
Religion and Female Genital Mutilation (FGM)
Religion and Sexuality
Religious Leaders as Agents of Social Change
Specialized Health Care Services for Immigrants

I share this book because it helps elucidate why this cultural legitimate practice is categorized as a form of domestic violence and abuse. 

Visit this site for a copy and refer your friends to it as well. As we say at Wiso, knowledge is power. Knowledge gives us the motivation to act and to protect our children, women- girls, daughters, mothers from a lifelong of suffering. Visit this site http://www.amazon.com/Female-Genital-Cutting-Industrialized-Countries/dp/144083346X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1416031119&sr=1-1&keywords=nyangweso+mary&pebp=1416031123272. Good luck reading. I will answer any questions you have. 

Prevent Sexual Assault

Sexual assault is the worst form of domestic violence. I speak from experience and deeply feel for anyone who has gone through this horrible act. unfortunately most victims are not believed, which makes it even more hurtful. It is even worse when one has to be killed for resisting sexual assault. it says a lot about how sick our society has become.

As the year draws to the end, I thought we should reflect upon the rights of our children. I say this because I can’t seem to shake the bad taste in my mouth brought by recent news stories that continue to dominate the media about the abuse of our children. In December 23, 2011, there was this story in the media about a mother who send her eight year old daughter into prostitution. An eight year old? Some of you must be wondering. Yes, indeed. The Huffington post ran a story about a Florida Mom, who allegedly offered up her 8-year-old daughter for prostitution. According to Panama City Police Sgt. Jeff Becker, Mims was at a Panama City business when she approached a random male stranger and offered her daughter to him for $100. Mims allegedly told the man that her daughter "would do anything the male wanted and would not tell anyone about it." God bless the man who displayed moral maturity by immediately reporting the incident to police. As Renee Willoughby, the executive board president of the  Gulf Coast Children's Advocacy Center, has correctly observed, "Everyone is horrified that this happened in our community, but, unfortunately, it is something that happens somewhere every day. It is just beyond words."

When trusted people in our society fail us, they should receive the ultimate punishment. Priests should be dismissed from their priestly roles while parents should be denied the opportunity to be a parent. If we cannot count on the most trusted members of our society – parents, pastors, Imams, Rabbis and other religious leaders – then our society needs to be refurbished.  Those with the spine to stand for humane values ought to do it to protect our society.  It is for this reason I write to implore our readers, especially religious leaders to advocate and protect our children. I believe my readers can do something to protect all children everywhere as well. If you see or suspect something is going on, do not dismiss it. Voice it!! Remember, where there is smoke, there often fire. Our children look upon us. Let’s not let them down.  Enjoy your happy holidays and I wish you all a prosperous, moral new year.

What was more heartbreaking was the hunging of a woman in Iran for killing a supposedly rapist. No one knows the truth in this situation. All I can say is that if she was killed for defending herself from a rapist, then our morals are upside down. The devil is always in the details. I have learnt never to discount words of anyone who cries rapist. I couldn’t help but read carefully her last words; her last wishes in life. Read for yourself.

"Dear Sholeh, today I learned that it is now my turn to face Qisas (the Iranian regime's law of retribution). I am hurt as to why you did not let me know yourself that I have reached the last page of the book of my life. Don’t you think that I should know? You know how ashamed I am that you are sad. Why did you not take the chance for me to kiss your hand and that of dad?

The world allowed me to live for 19 years. That ominous night it was I that should have been killed. My body would have been thrown in some corner of the city, and after a few days, the police would have taken you to the coroner’s office to identify my body and there you would also learn that I had been raped as well. The murderer would have never been found since we don’t have their wealth and their power. Then you would have continued your life suffering and ashamed, and a few years later you would have died of this suffering and that would have been that.

However, with that cursed blow the story changed. My body was not thrown aside, but into the grave of Evin Prison and its solitary wards, and now the grave-like prison of Shahr-e Ray. But give in to the fate and don’t complain. You know better that death is not the end of life.

You taught me that one comes to this world to gain an experience and learn a lesson and with each birth a responsibility is put on one’s shoulder. I learned that sometimes one has to fight. I do remember when you told me that the carriage man protested the man who was flogging me, but the flogger hit the lash on his head and face that ultimately led to his death. You told me that for creating a value one should persevere even if one dies.

You taught us that as we go to school one should be a lady in face of the quarrels and complaints. Do you remember how much you underlined the way we behave? Your experience was incorrect. When this incident happened, my teachings did not help me. Being presented in court made me appear as a cold-blooded murderer and a ruthless criminal. I shed no tears. I did not beg. I did not cry my head off since I trusted the law.

But I was charged with being indifferent in face of a crime. You see, I didn’t even kill the mosquitoes and I threw away the cockroaches by taking them by their antennas. Now I have become a premeditated murderer. My treatment of the animals was interpreted as being inclined to be a boy and the judge didn’t even trouble himself to look at the fact that at the time of the incident I had long and polished nails.

How optimistic was he who expected justice from the judges! He never questioned the fact that my hands are not coarse like those of a sportswoman, especially a boxer. And this country that you planted its love in me never wanted me and no one supported me when under the blows of the interrogator I was crying out and I was hearing the most vulgar terms. When I shed the last sign of beauty from myself by shaving my hair I was rewarded: 11 days in solitary.

Dear Sholeh, don’t cry for what you are hearing. On the first day that in the police office an old unmarried agent hurt me for my nails I understood that beauty is not looked for in this era. The beauty of looks, beauty of thoughts and wishes, a beautiful handwriting, beauty of the eyes and vision, and even beauty of a nice voice.

My dear mother, my ideology has changed and you are not responsible for it. My words are unending and I gave it all to someone so that when I am executed without your presence and knowledge, it would be given to you. I left you much handwritten material as my heritage.

However, before my death I want something from you, that you have to provide for me with all your might and in any way that you can. In fact this is the only thing I want from this world, this country and you. I know you need time for this. Therefore, I am telling you part of my will sooner. Please don’t cry and listen. I want you to go to the court and tell them my request. I cannot write such a letter from inside the prison that would be approved by the head of prison; so once again you have to suffer because of me. It is the only thing that if even you beg for it I would not become upset although I have told you many times not to beg to save me from being executed.

My kind mother, dear Sholeh, the one more dear to me than my life, I don’t want to rot under the soil. I don’t want my eye or my young heart to turn into dust. Beg so that it is arranged that as soon as I am hanged my heart, kidney, eye, bones and anything that can be transplanted be taken away from my body and given to someone who needs them as a gift. I don’t want the recipient know my name, buy me a bouquet, or even pray for me. I am telling you from the bottom of my heart that I don’t want to have a grave for you to come and mourn there and suffer. I don’t want you to wear black clothing for me. Do your best to forget my difficult days. Give me to the wind to take away.

The world did not love us. It did not want my fate. And now I am giving in to it and embrace the death. Because in the court of God I will charge the inspectors, I will charge inspector Shamlou, I will charge judge, and the judges of country’s Supreme Court that beat me up when I was awake and did not refrain from harassing me. In the court of the creator I will charge Dr. Farvandi, I will charge Qassem Shabani and all those that out of ignorance or with their lies wronged me and trampled on my rights and didn’t pay heed to the fact that sometimes what appears as reality is different from it.

Dear soft-hearted Sholeh, in the other world it is you and me who are the accusers and others who are the accused. Let’s see what God wants. I wanted to embrace you until I die. I love you.”

Reyhaneh,

1 April, 2014

Message translated by the National Council of Resistance of Iran (NCRI)

May she rest in peace. To read more about the stories I referenced, visit the following links:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/final-message-of-woman-executed-in-iran-for-killing-attempted-rapist-dear-mum-dont-cry-9820117.html

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/22/sue-ellen-mims-florida

http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/12/13/us-usa-crime-coach

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/23/paul-kunzler-arrested-utah

No to Domestic Violence!!!

There is too much news about domestic violence. This is an indicator that this is a serious problem in our society. Therefore, it is important to remind everyone our position on this issue. Women's Interfaith Support Organization does not tolerate domestic violence in any form it may appear. This includes behavior that excuses or ignores the seriousness of this abuse.Anyone who condones, promotes or engages in domestic violence does not deserve to be a role model, a leader or to be in a privileged position.

Domestic Violence is a reality in our country and everywhere else. Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten. Around the world, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime. In the year 2000, 246,000 women survived rape and sexual assault. Most often, the abuser is a member of her own family. According to the attorney general office, there were 131 people murdered during a domestic violence incident in North Carolina in 2010. Of those killed, 99 were women, 32 were male, and most of the offenders were male (103 male offenders and 25 female offenders. In Eastern North Carolina, 7,432 cases of aggravated assault were reported in 2010.  556 cases of rap were reported in 2010. In Pitt County alone, 568   cases of assault were reported in 2010 and 32 cases of rape were reported the same year.  

In a study by the U.S. Centers for Disease control of 5,000 college students at over 100 colleges, 20% of women answered "yes" to the question "In your lifetime have you been forced to submit to sexual intercourse against your will?"Female Genital Cutting (FGC) a practice associated with African, Middle Eastern and some Asian countries is a common cultural abuse of girl and women. It is estimated that 100 to 140 million girls worldwide are living with the consequences of FGC. According to the UN, the UN, at least 2 million girls a year experience genital mutilation globally, approximately 6,000 new cases every day-five girls every minute. This practice mostly carried out on young girls sometime between infancy and age 15 years in on the increase in developing countries like the United States due to immigration.

Sexual trafficking is on the increase in our world today.  About 293,000 children in the U.S. are in danger of being sexually trafficked. Pimps commonly sell minor girls for $400.00 an hour on America’s streets and the girls received none of the money.

Honor killings, a practice commonly found in Middle Eastern countries is slowly creeping into developed countries. About 5,000 honor killings occur annually. Many more are not reported or disguised as suicide, accidents etc. For instance, in 2009, a phoenix jury convicted an Iraqi Muslim of killing his 20 year old college daughter by deliberately running over her with a car for refusing an arranged marriage and for being too westernized. In 2008, a Muslim man from Jonesboro, GA strangled his own to death in her bed with a bungee cord because she wanted a divorce from an older man who she was forced to marry. Help Stop Abuse. We accept donation at WISO, P.O. Box 3043 Greenville NC 27858. Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/WISO/144978142239603. Email wiso2011@gmail.com

Hope Conquers All!!

Once you have hope, anything is possible so says Christopher Reeve. It is however difficult to have hope when all seems hopeless, especially when you see life going on around you normally as if no one really cares what is happening to you. Yes, it hurts, especially when those who should care seem not to care. But sometimes knowing in your heart that all is not really lost is a way to fight back.  

A good example of hope is that displayed by the care of Michelle Knight, Amanda Berry and Gina Dejesus, reported in 2013. After 10 years in captivity and living in abuse, they were finally rescued from the monster who tortured them. Read more

Ibrahim, a Sudanese woman has been living a similar experience these few past months. Ibrahim, was condemned to die by hanging after she declined to profess she is a Muslim, the religion of her father. Sharia law considers her a Muslim and does not recognize her marriage to a Christian husband Daniel Wani. She declined to change her mind despite giving birth in prison.

Ibrahim was convicted of apostasy and adultery – a crime of abandoning her faith. She was eight months pregnant. She gave birth to a baby girl this week at a Khartoum prison, where she was  also detained with her 20-month-old son, Martin. In spite of this, she held firmly on to her beliefs despite the pressure on her from Muslim religious leaders that she should return to the Muslim faith. ,

It is unfortunate to see her go through this when her Islamic teachings clearly state that there is no compulsion in Islam. Prophet Muhammad taught that no one should be compelled to be a Muslim. Ibrahim’s narrative is also an illustration of the ignorance of some that the God of the Muslims – Allah is different from the God of Christians and the Jews. Why condemn a Muslim for converting to Christianity when in essence the God that is worshipped is the same one?

It was good news to those of us who were scared for her to see some glim of hope in Ibrahim released. Ibrahim who had been accused of apostasy had her death penalty sentence reverted after international outcry from human rights groups. On July 24, 2014, it was such happiness for all who care about social justice to see her united with her children and husband and in a meeting with the Pope in Italy as she prepares to return to the United States having been cleared of the charge of apostasy.

It is true that hope is all you can count on and it may surely conquer it all for you. Maya Angelou was right is saying that “God puts rainbows in the clouds so that each of us- in the dreariest and most dreaded moments – can see a possibility of hope.” Emily Dickinson also reminds us that “Hope is that thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without words and never stops…at all.” Friends, have hope, because that is all that matters when all is glim. It may just provide that light at the end of the tunnel.  

References

The New York Post, http://nypost.com/2014/06/23/christian-woman-on-death-row-for-apostasy-is-released-in-sudan/

The New York post, http://nypost.com/2014/07/24/sudanese-woman-sentenced-to-death-for-being-christian-meets-pope/

The Washington Post,  http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/police-three-rescued-cleveland-women-6-year-old-are-in-good-health/2013/05/07/

The Quote Garden, http://www.quotegarden.com/hope.html

Because My Culture Says So!

                                                     

How many times have you heard people say, “I do it because it is my culture”? Many times, I assume. They say it all the time. You know, culture is great!! I love culture as well, because culture defines who we are. It gives us our identity. Culture connects us to our families, friends, and a history that is worth being proud of. Culture should make us proud as a people. It should make us feel human and feel wanted and needed. It should make us feel valued.

But wait, what about when culture is harmful? Should we embrace it?  Think about it?

In some communities, it is a cultural thing to discipline wives by whipping. Some women have been killed this way. In others, it is okay to perform female genital cuttings, - a process that involves  the trimming off of the clitoris, labia minora and labia majora and  sometimes sewing completely a woman's vagina leaving a tiny match stick size hole. This is done in order to protect her virginity and chastity. Some girls have died through such processes and many live with health issues that may include; pain, inflammation, swelling, urine retention, urinary tract infection, meatal obstruction and urinary strictures, keloids, dermoid cysts, introital and vaginal stenosis, neuromas, dysmenorrhea, hematocolpos, dyspareunia, infertility, obstructed labor during childbirth, hemorrhage, sepsis, infection, shock, and even death.[i]

In other cultures, it is alright to kill a baby girl after she is born just because the family is fearful of her dishonoring them when she grows up. In such societies, infanticide is alright as it is believed that girls are generally impulsive and likely to be promiscuous that the only way to prevent this is kill them at birth. In such cultures killing a woman who commits fornication, adultery or gets pregnant out of wedlock is common.  In some cultures, such a woman is buried alive or stoned to death.

In other cultures the birth of twins is an omen. Such children are to be thrown away in the forest and left for dead. Oh wait, did I mention that in other cultures it is alright to eat fellow human beings and of course wonderful to sacrifice humans? I could go on and on and on… Did I mention that rape is an acceptable cultural practice in some communities? This will be discussed in details in my next blog topic. I think the point is made!

While culture has positive benefits to the individual, it has its negative side as well. Culture can justify abusive behavior.
When culture undermines any ones welfare, especially health, it ought to be questioned. We should all do what we can to claim our human rights, and God’s creations. Our human worth is much more that what culture can offer. As rational beings, we should all claim our agency as individuals who can think for ourselves and make decisions for ourselves.  While we all love our families, communities, and our cultures, we should consider seriously what they expose us to. When they ask us to succumb to practices that harm us, we ought to stand up against them. Any culture that is proud of itself must protect the health and rights and general welfare of all its members.

Sometimes, this is not easy for some of us, though. That is why everyone needs a friend to turn to when situations like these happen. Be your sister’s and brother’s keeper. Be there for the unfortunate and for those who have no voice in society and probably don’t know how to resist abusive practices in their families, communities and societies in general. Say no to any form of abuse, Say yes to human rights.

Join us at WISO as we stand for the rights of all. We condemn any form of abuse whether cultural sanction or not. We stand for the welfare of the abused. We work to help empower them to say no to abuse. Join us and share your story. It can be inspirational to others. Support us in other ways to help change one life at a time.  Do not forget to visit our website at wiso2011.org and like us on facebook, tweeter, and share our concerns to all your friends. We can all make a change. Lives of millions depend on it. Remember, just one life at a time.

Peace!
WISO President
June 2014

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[i] Turner, Dianne. 2007. “Female Genital Cutting: Implications for Nurses” AWHONN accessed at http://nwh.awhonn.org

Why This Much Abuse? Reflecting on our Morals.

Has anyone noticed that there is too much abuse going on in our societies? I have. First, there was this scandal about sexual abuse in the military. Did you know that abuse of others has more to do with our morals than it is with religion? Yes, religion is just a scapegoat for those who cannot take responsibility of their actions.  I was listening to the TV report the other day about sexual assault in the military and could not but wonder what is wrong with our society. In spite of years (25) of Pentagon studies on this issue, the creation of task force, and congressional hearings, rape, sexual assault and sexual harassment continue to occur at alarming rates in the military. According to statistics, from the Department of defense (DOD), an estimated 19,300 sexual assault occurred in the military in 2012. Of these, 10,700 were men while 8,600 were women. Only 13.5% of the survivors reported assault, not only for the fear of the social stigma associated with rape, but mostly because survivors do not often get help they deserve.

According to the Service Women’s Action Network (SWAN), a non- partisan civil rights organization that advocates for equal opportunity for service members and veterans, this attitude towards those who are assaulted drives victims into substance abuse; a factor in their difficulty finding work after discharge. Does anyone wonder why disciplinary action is difficult to enforce in the military, of all the places? If the rights of those affected by sexual assault in the military cannot be protected, where else can we expect effective enforcement? Why hold task forces and hearings when nothing is going to be done to remedy the situation? What is the obstacle to enforcing discipline? What is preventing the pentagon from addressing this issue? We definitely want answers.  

As I was pondering this situation, there came other news on sexual assault on campus. The president was supposedly pushing colleges to survey their students about sexual assault and that he had created a task force to help protect students by curbing “violence that has long plagued women at schools across the country” (Anderson & Zezima, April, 2014). According to statistics, there are 35.5 incidents of sexual assault per 1000 female students on campus. 48.8% of college women who were victims of rape and attacks did not consider what they experienced as rape (Bureau of Justice Stats, Sexual Victimization of Collegiate Women,” 2000). On average, at least 50% of college students’ sexual assault is associated with alcohol use (Abbey et al, 1990: 1998). More than 70% of rape victims knew their attackers (Callie, 1998). In another survey of high school students, 56% of girls and 76% of boys believed that forced sex was acceptable under some circumstances (Acquaintance Rape: 1991) Conclusion, 1 in 4 college women will be the victim of sexual assault in college (Kathlene, 1990). Therefore, this is not just a problem for those in college. It is a problem for those yet to attend college. If abuse is rampant in our school system, what does it say about our educational systems? If it is just as bad as it is in the military, something is definitely wrong with both our morals and education?

This grim situation is made worse by findings of the Center for Public Integrity which reported that “students found responsible for sexual assault on campus often faced little or no punishment from the school judicial system while their victims’ lives are frequently turned upside down.” A case in point referenced is that of Indiana University – Margaret J. Case in which her assailant was suspended for a semester that he was not going to attend anyway. After reading this, I was reminded about a discussion I had with some you groups who expressed concern that they find themselves in situations where they would rather transfer schools instead of pursuing sexual assault charges.  

One can’t help but wonder is our schools are enabling sexual abuse indirectly?  Think about this for a second? Is it possible that our families are also enabling abuse? If so, we need to rethink our moral principles. When you are faced by a situation of abuse, condemn it. Speak loudly against it so you discourage the behavior.  Humans should be treated fairly as rational beings with the ability to say no. Aggressors should rethink their behavior before we lose our ability to tell wrong from right and indeed what makes us human. We should not let our societies to disintegrate into barbarian morals lest we fail to distinguish ourselves from animals.

If you enjoy reading these small news from WISO, share with your friends and ask them to visit us at www.wiso2011.org and to like us on our facebook. Any other support will help us mail news to those who need these news but can’t access the internet. Always remember, when you find yourself in an abusive situation, or know a friend in a difficult situation ask him or her to always call 1 800 -656-4673

First Female Genital Cutting prosecution in United Kingdom!!!

The first prosecution of practitioners of female genital cutting just took place in the United Kingdom. Read the story here. http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-26681364 While we should indeed rejoice this as an indicator of progress towards protecting the rights of children in this country, a lot more needs to be done to ensure that abuse of children in the name of culture stops everywhere around the world. The cries of young girls who live with the risk of this and other practices that harm them is getting louder and louder and we need to pay attention. Some of these girls face life altering complications. While it should be noted that some may end up living a normal life, our concern is for those who are likely to be condemned to a life of chronic diseases and much more.

For those who do not know, female genital cutting is sometimes known as female circumcision or female genital mutilation in the health care forum. It is a practice that is embraced in some communities across the globe, mainly some African, Middle Eastern and Asian countries.  It is performed on girls and young women as a rite of passage. It involves the pricking, piercing, stretching, burning, or excision of the clitoris and/ or the removal of part or all of the tissues around a woman’s reproductive organ. In some cases infibulation is performed; the stitching together of the vulva in order to narrow the vaginal opening.   Although as a rite of passage it is commonly performed on girls between the ages of 4 and 16, it is becoming popularly in younger unsuspecting children. As immigrants immigrate to industrialized countries, they often bring with them such practices

Because of possible health and moral concerns, female genital cutting has been rendered by the United Nation and the World health Organization as a violation of human rights of children and women who are exposed to it without informed consent. Health concerns which are both short term and long-term include hemorrhage, severe pain, urinary tract infection, injury to adjacent tissue, damage to other organs, fractures or dislocation due to restraint during the procedure, sexual dysfunction, complications in pregnancy and childbirth, psychological damage – fear, inhibition, the suppression of feeling, anxiety, flashbacks, phobia, depression and in some cases death. Most women with the severe type have problems with penetration following marriage; penetration can sometimes take six months or longer, due to the pinhole introitus left after the procedure. Moral concerns include gender concerns related to the assumptions that the female gender should be controlled. Genital cutting is a way to control women’s sexual pleasure, for the benefit of man’s pleasure. In essence, women are denied the desire to live a full sexual life.

As a result of the United Nation’s and World Health organization’s position, most countries have outlawed the practice. In spite of this, some parents hope to evade legal consequences by performing it to unsuspecting toddlers and babies.  Even industrialized countries such as the United States, Australia, Canada, England, and France, where such policies have been instituted, the practice has persisted amongst some immigrants. Although numerous cases go unreported, the frequency of female genital cutting related cases in the media indicates a serious problem. The prevalence of female genital cutting in these countries in not fully known because of the secret nature of the practice.

In the United States, for instance, it is estimated that that 228,000 have been cut or live with the risk of genital cutting, a rise in the statistic by 35% (AWHC, 2012). The pressure to succumb to the practice is very high and some parents who want to stay true to their tradition ask American doctors to cut their daughters. Female genital cutting falls in the category of abuse where it is forced on unsuspecting children. Communities that encourage it are also responsible. For instance, requiring that a girl be cut before they are eligible for marriage is unfair.

Although women should resist this practice at all costs because they are likely to end up with chronic health conditions, men have a huge responsibility towards discouraging this practice. When women’s sexual desire is controlled, men dissatisfaction is enhanced as well. When these women get sick, men are not only left with the responsibility of taking care of their health needs, their sexual needs are inhibited as well. This is a family issue, a community issue, a global issue. Let’s come together and address it. Men first responsibility if to reject circumcised women. By this message, I urge all men who see this as an injustice to help protect the rights of children and young women by sign a petition that I have created. “Say no to cut women” If we remove the demand the commodity will not sell. Read more about this practice in my book titled Female Circumcision: The Interplay of Religion, Culture and Gender in Kenya (2007). Look out for my forthcoming book on the subject in the western countries. Also, watch out for my petition on discouraging this practice.  Visit our WISO website at www.wiso2011.org and our facebook to like us at https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/WISO/144978142239603.

Thanks for reading!
Peace,
WISO President

Acceptable Norm is Harmful! Help End it

Quite often we tend to think that what is culturally acceptable is often good. But as you are about to see in this following article, certain things that are acceptable in our communities can be harmful and indeed abusive. For a long time, certain communities allowed girls at the age of 9 to get married and to engage in sexual behavior. Those were the days when school education was not valued.

While marrying a child was acceptable in those communities, definitely, science has shown that a child at 9-16 years is not ready to be a mother and exposing her to sexual behavior is likely to harm her body both psychologically and physically.

In our society today, we have education, an opportunity given to all girls and boys as a basic human right to grow and be educated in general life knowledge and to prepare for a better life. This basic right is an indicator of the fact that modern communities care about the welfare and health of our children. It is abusive to deny them this opportunity and more abusive to expose them to practices that are harmful to their bodies. Culture is no excuse to hurt our children. Let us protect our children from unnecessary pain. Let us give them opportunities to go to school so they can understand themselves and what they want before they engage in adult responsibilities.

After reading the following storyline, I urge you to make a difference in ending this behavior. Visit our web site at www.wiso2011.org to donate to help save a girl or boy from abusive behavior. Your donation is tax deductible. We will also appreciate your visiting our facebook site to like us!! See below.

http://www.cnn.com/2014/02/04/health/malawi-girls-initiation/index.html?hpt=hp_t5

'Same Love' Marriages at the Grammy!!

If you live in North Carolina, you probably know that this past week we had a rare event in the region - snow, real snow. Funny that some of us were snowed in for days because this rare event was not prepared for by the state. Coupled with low temperatures, the snow turned into ice, making it difficult for drivers in the region. Yet, as always, there are those who are always daring to embrace every situation that presents itself.  My son went out to enjoy the snow with friends and came back startled after seeing a friend’s truck do a 360 turn on the road. Yes it was bad, but it is now over.

While wondering about what to do over this period, I watched again the Grammy awards and could not help but be captivated once again by the marriages that were performed during the event. It was humbling to imagine that we need an award event like this to actually experience love, and care. The event brought tears in the eyes of many including mine. To see love being extended to those that have been discriminated against in our societies for way too long; it was a human moment that defied words for me. Thanks to the great work of artists Macklemore and Ryan Lewis in their performance of “same Love” and other performers on this event like Mary Lambert, Madonna, Queen Latifah, and Jazz at Trombone Shorty and all who put this together.   That was truly a learning moment. If you haven’t watched it, I request you to do so. See their performance at http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/macklemore-madonna-perform-same-love-674168

As I have always said in my blogs and other writings, abuse comes in many forms. Discrimination against anyone is abuse. While abuse is often sanctioned through culture, it is often sad to see it justified through religion. Ethnocentrism is a fact of life. As humans we tend to think that what we are and what we have is better that what others are or have. Wise human beings, however, are those who learn to look beyond the box they have been confined in. Actually they seek to get out of this box to explore what is out there. Out there is much more to life than what we are familiar with. What wise being have discovered about life is that this perfect life also has an imperfect life, what we have believe to be right, normal, good is just but one half of reality. Working to accept this reality is to work at being better beings. We should all strive to be better beings by learning to accept imperfections in our own lives and in our friends, and neighbor’s lives.

It is for this reason that no one should be denied love or any other basic need just because of their race, sexual orientation, age, religion or any other reason. To do so is to demonstrate ignorance about love and how love works. True love transcends these simple social categories. Therefore to insist that God condemns gay and yet he created them the way they are is to rebuke God and his creative abilities in my opinion. To argue that heterosexual relations as the only "normal" relationships because they produce children is to display ignorance on how social categories come about and especially about God as an entity. A simple question to ask is: who defines normal? Are we comfortable using the prevalence of heterosexual lifestyles to exclude other lifestyles? Would God be alright with excluding other human beings from any activity or even for that matter? Certainly not God that is preached in many religions I know. If the answer to this question is no, then all forms of discrimination are wrong and ungodly. If god created us the way we are, God loves us the way we are. Let us not deduct from God by claiming or imposing our own selfish need and expectations upon him. It is not fair.

If we truly love God as some of us claim to, then let’s love each or our neighbor, and friends in whatever form they come to us. Let’s see the human in them first before we see the imperfections they may have. Wasn’t it Jesus, a renowned philosopher and religious leader of this world- who once said, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ⁴ How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? ⁵  You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." Matthew, 7:3-5 (NIV). Who are you to judge, Pope Francis reminds us?

It is even sadder when parents disown their own children because they do not behave or act as they would like them to. A parent who disowns his/her child because he/she is gay does not deserve of that child in the first place. In fact such parents do not deserve of any child in their custodian. Parenthood is a responsibility to love and care for anyone in your custody who cares to call you mom and dad. To not do so is an abuse, whether psychological or physical, it is still an abuse.

My message in this blog is to ask all of us to transcend attitudes, behavior and acts that are discriminative of other people otherwise we are all participating in abusive behavior. To end abuse in our societies, we have to transform our thoughts and attitudes in order to accept anyone and everyone as human and worth of respect. This is a challenge that we need to spread around. If you know anyone who can use this advice, say or do something because, you never know. One act of care can actually set off the domino effect that will make someone's life better.

If you like what you read here and what we do, visit us and support us at www.wiso2011.org. With your support, we will bring you more news, messages and events on abuse in our communities. We will also reach out to those who need actual help. Also remember to invite us to speak to you and your community on these matters. We are more than happy to do so. We are here to make a change in attitudes, and physically where possible. Tell your friends about us, like us on face book and tweet us at wiso20111.

Watch the Grammy marriage herehttp://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/macklemore-madonna-perform-same-love-674168

Peace everyone!

President, WISO

Happy and a Prosperous Year to you!!!

To all my reader, I would like to wish you a happy and prosperous year. I appreciate that you read my thoughts. Because of you I have something to wake up to. Indeed, you make my days and I hope you make my next year. Because of you I feel driven to do something meaningful for that abused child, girl, man or woman. Because of you I feel I can share my disappointment and my blessings with someone. You are all I need.

Blessings is all I send to you just as I enjoy receiving them. Be safe, be responsible and be supportive. As always!! Remember to visit us at www.wiso2011.org to keep supporting us!

I love you all
Peace!!!!!
XoXo :)