Acceptable Norm is Harmful! Help End it

Quite often we tend to think that what is culturally acceptable is often good. But as you are about to see in this following article, certain things that are acceptable in our communities can be harmful and indeed abusive. For a long time, certain communities allowed girls at the age of 9 to get married and to engage in sexual behavior. Those were the days when school education was not valued.

While marrying a child was acceptable in those communities, definitely, science has shown that a child at 9-16 years is not ready to be a mother and exposing her to sexual behavior is likely to harm her body both psychologically and physically.

In our society today, we have education, an opportunity given to all girls and boys as a basic human right to grow and be educated in general life knowledge and to prepare for a better life. This basic right is an indicator of the fact that modern communities care about the welfare and health of our children. It is abusive to deny them this opportunity and more abusive to expose them to practices that are harmful to their bodies. Culture is no excuse to hurt our children. Let us protect our children from unnecessary pain. Let us give them opportunities to go to school so they can understand themselves and what they want before they engage in adult responsibilities.

After reading the following storyline, I urge you to make a difference in ending this behavior. Visit our web site at www.wiso2011.org to donate to help save a girl or boy from abusive behavior. Your donation is tax deductible. We will also appreciate your visiting our facebook site to like us!! See below.

http://www.cnn.com/2014/02/04/health/malawi-girls-initiation/index.html?hpt=hp_t5

'Same Love' Marriages at the Grammy!!

If you live in North Carolina, you probably know that this past week we had a rare event in the region - snow, real snow. Funny that some of us were snowed in for days because this rare event was not prepared for by the state. Coupled with low temperatures, the snow turned into ice, making it difficult for drivers in the region. Yet, as always, there are those who are always daring to embrace every situation that presents itself.  My son went out to enjoy the snow with friends and came back startled after seeing a friend’s truck do a 360 turn on the road. Yes it was bad, but it is now over.

While wondering about what to do over this period, I watched again the Grammy awards and could not help but be captivated once again by the marriages that were performed during the event. It was humbling to imagine that we need an award event like this to actually experience love, and care. The event brought tears in the eyes of many including mine. To see love being extended to those that have been discriminated against in our societies for way too long; it was a human moment that defied words for me. Thanks to the great work of artists Macklemore and Ryan Lewis in their performance of “same Love” and other performers on this event like Mary Lambert, Madonna, Queen Latifah, and Jazz at Trombone Shorty and all who put this together.   That was truly a learning moment. If you haven’t watched it, I request you to do so. See their performance at http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/macklemore-madonna-perform-same-love-674168

As I have always said in my blogs and other writings, abuse comes in many forms. Discrimination against anyone is abuse. While abuse is often sanctioned through culture, it is often sad to see it justified through religion. Ethnocentrism is a fact of life. As humans we tend to think that what we are and what we have is better that what others are or have. Wise human beings, however, are those who learn to look beyond the box they have been confined in. Actually they seek to get out of this box to explore what is out there. Out there is much more to life than what we are familiar with. What wise being have discovered about life is that this perfect life also has an imperfect life, what we have believe to be right, normal, good is just but one half of reality. Working to accept this reality is to work at being better beings. We should all strive to be better beings by learning to accept imperfections in our own lives and in our friends, and neighbor’s lives.

It is for this reason that no one should be denied love or any other basic need just because of their race, sexual orientation, age, religion or any other reason. To do so is to demonstrate ignorance about love and how love works. True love transcends these simple social categories. Therefore to insist that God condemns gay and yet he created them the way they are is to rebuke God and his creative abilities in my opinion. To argue that heterosexual relations as the only "normal" relationships because they produce children is to display ignorance on how social categories come about and especially about God as an entity. A simple question to ask is: who defines normal? Are we comfortable using the prevalence of heterosexual lifestyles to exclude other lifestyles? Would God be alright with excluding other human beings from any activity or even for that matter? Certainly not God that is preached in many religions I know. If the answer to this question is no, then all forms of discrimination are wrong and ungodly. If god created us the way we are, God loves us the way we are. Let us not deduct from God by claiming or imposing our own selfish need and expectations upon him. It is not fair.

If we truly love God as some of us claim to, then let’s love each or our neighbor, and friends in whatever form they come to us. Let’s see the human in them first before we see the imperfections they may have. Wasn’t it Jesus, a renowned philosopher and religious leader of this world- who once said, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ⁴ How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? ⁵  You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." Matthew, 7:3-5 (NIV). Who are you to judge, Pope Francis reminds us?

It is even sadder when parents disown their own children because they do not behave or act as they would like them to. A parent who disowns his/her child because he/she is gay does not deserve of that child in the first place. In fact such parents do not deserve of any child in their custodian. Parenthood is a responsibility to love and care for anyone in your custody who cares to call you mom and dad. To not do so is an abuse, whether psychological or physical, it is still an abuse.

My message in this blog is to ask all of us to transcend attitudes, behavior and acts that are discriminative of other people otherwise we are all participating in abusive behavior. To end abuse in our societies, we have to transform our thoughts and attitudes in order to accept anyone and everyone as human and worth of respect. This is a challenge that we need to spread around. If you know anyone who can use this advice, say or do something because, you never know. One act of care can actually set off the domino effect that will make someone's life better.

If you like what you read here and what we do, visit us and support us at www.wiso2011.org. With your support, we will bring you more news, messages and events on abuse in our communities. We will also reach out to those who need actual help. Also remember to invite us to speak to you and your community on these matters. We are more than happy to do so. We are here to make a change in attitudes, and physically where possible. Tell your friends about us, like us on face book and tweet us at wiso20111.

Watch the Grammy marriage herehttp://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/macklemore-madonna-perform-same-love-674168

Peace everyone!

President, WISO

Happy and a Prosperous Year to you!!!

To all my reader, I would like to wish you a happy and prosperous year. I appreciate that you read my thoughts. Because of you I have something to wake up to. Indeed, you make my days and I hope you make my next year. Because of you I feel driven to do something meaningful for that abused child, girl, man or woman. Because of you I feel I can share my disappointment and my blessings with someone. You are all I need.

Blessings is all I send to you just as I enjoy receiving them. Be safe, be responsible and be supportive. As always!! Remember to visit us at www.wiso2011.org to keep supporting us!

I love you all
Peace!!!!!
XoXo :)

The Fate of Child Brides

To most of us, when we hear about child marriages, it probably does not make sense. To some of us, it is not real. However, statistics indicate that this problem is more real than we imagine. 1 in 9 girls from developing countries are married before the age of 15. Some of these girls are married off at age 9. 1 in 3 girls in developed countries are married before age 18. As a result, about 14 million girls under the age of 18 are denied their rights to education worldwide.  Although statistics indicate that this problem is worse in some countries than others, this problem is worse in developing countries.

In South Asia for instance, 46% of girls are married before age 18. In Sub-Saharan Africa, 38% of the girls are married off before age 18. In Latin America and the Caribbean, 21% of girls are married off before age 18. In East Asia and the Pacific, 18% of the girls are married off before age 18. In the Middle East and North Africa, 18% of girls are married before age 18. In central Europe, 11% of girls are married before age 18 (UNICEF, 2013).      

While child brides has been an acceptable practice in many countries, modern societies have tried to protect children by insisting they get opportunities to education in order to live a better life. The United Nations' the organization to which most countries who seek to promote social justice and welfare of all stipulates in Universal Declaration of Human Rights, that there are "equal and inalienable rights of all members of the human family." The right to education, the right to shelter and the food are considered basic to each and every one. Unfortunately, child brides are denied education which is fundamental to attaining the other basic rights.

As stated by the UNICEF, most of these child brides end up in poverty, less educated and with serious health issues, for themselves and their children. According to studies, girls age 15-19 are twice as likely to die during pregnancy or child birth compared to those over age 20. Girls younger than 15 are five times more likely to lose their lives during child birth. When a woman is under 18, her child is 60% more likely to die in its first year of life than a baby born to a mother over 18 years.

In addition to this, countries with the highest child marriage rates have the lowest rates of educated women. A country that denies women education does not only deny these women a healthy and better livelihood, it also denies itself human power that would have gone into its development. It is no wonder that countries with the most child marriages happen to be the poorest.

For those of us who care, we should do something about it. While it is beyond our mission to rid the society of this cruel practice, those of us at WISO do whatever little we can to help protect children from marriages that destroy their lives. With your donations, we seek out girls, one at a time, support her education and put her to a road to a better life. We use donations to pay their tuition, bills in a sheltered environment until they are able to go out as independent and responsible citizens. Yet, even with our meager support, we are hopeful that with your support, we can make a difference in a number of girls’ lives. Visit us at www.wiso2011.org to learn what we do and to support us by a donation of your choosing. We count on your support.  Make one girls Christmas true by presenting her a gift to education.

A Pastor Who Raped Girls claims they had the Devil in Them?

A pastor charged with rape of girls claims that the girls had devils inside them. Really? This man should never have been a pastor in the first place. Members of his congregation should have seen the red flags and said something before this happened. Read more here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/13/jacoby-kindred-pastor-rape-girls-devil-inside-them_n_4439216.html

Stories like these are becoming more common in our society than we can bear. When those in positions of leadership forget their responsibility to uphold a high moral standard, we know that our society is living under the worst moral decadence. Moral decay happens when society decided that they do not care what happens to their neighbor, and anyone else. Soon, everyone does not care about friends and even family members. This is not to mention the apathy often displayed towards the consequences of such behavior.

Unfortunately, as social being, humans have to remember that we are moral being. It is in our human self to create norms and to choose those norms that bring the highest good in us as well as the highest pleasure. These values in themselves are not as satisfying unless they are experienced within family and friendly relations. It is for this reason that norms and morality must be upheld. It is for this reason that we frown at a pastor who assaults children under his care, or a family member assaulting a family member. There is something very, very wrong with that picture.

I have wondered why abuse happens in the wrong places. A pastor abusing children under his care is one of the gross things one has to hear. It should be a law that anyone in leadership who is guilty of abuse should not only be convicted, they should never be allowed in leadership positions ever again. If this was ensured, we would have the most vulnerable members of our community protected. Children, boys and girl, and the elderly, and of course women need to be protected from pedophiles.

After you read this narrative and care about stopping leaders who do this to their subjects for whom they are expected to uphold the highest degree of moral uprightness, we ask that you join us in assisting an abused survivor to redirect her/ his life. Join us at www.wiso2011.org.  Support us as we expose these pedophiles and how to stop them.

An Appeal for Girls in Africa

Hello everyone. Today, I make an appeal to you for the girls in Africa. Join us in ensuring that few girls drop out of school due to simple basic needs. Education is not only key to a better life; it is a step to opportunities in life. It is a basic need for general survival and a life of non-dependence. We may not meet all their needs, but taking care of a simple aspect of their lives goes a long way. It takes just one simple gesture and one caring person to make a difference.
 
There are girls in Africa who face serious sanitation problems. They drop out of school because they do not have sanitary pads to wear while going to school. They get embarrassed during menstruation and cannot bear the misery of being in school without pads. Because these girls come from communities where matters related to sexuality and even reproduction are rarely discussed, they end up dropping out of school.

My experience with these girls has taught me that they are as smart as any girl or boy out there. All they need are conditions to enable their education to take place. Whenever I visit Africa, I go to school and talk to the teachers and girls to find out who has dropped out of school and why. This fact has been reinforced by studies that have shown how many girls drop out of school in order to get married and to avoid embarrassment when they reach puberty because they fear to be embarrassed when they undergo menstruation periods.

Puberty and menstruation are natural experiences. There girls should not feel inhibited by natural conditions to not go to school. I wish governments in Africa would do a lot to help these girls in these matters. Unfortunately, very little is being done. This is where my WISO organization comes in and where your support comes in.

 As a non-profit organization, all we are doing is fundraise and buy pads which we distribute to girls in various schools to ensure that they don’t drop out of school for such a flimsy reason. With support, we hope to equip each girl with pads to take them a year. We can then build on this yearly. There are many schools in Africa as you know. So we hope to begin this initiative in one country and encourage group formation to continue the program. Hopefully, this can make a change in some of these girls’ lives. If we get enough support, we can help them in other areas of need.

It is for this reason we need your support. We solicit grants but these are hard to come by. We count on individual support more because these come from the heart. We do not claim to end their problems. We can’t. Just a simple gesture to keep them going on with their struggles is enough for a start. That is how I see it. Whatever gift you give us, $5, $10, $20 $100 all count and will definitely make a huge change in these girls’ lives. We count on your help and hope you can also help spread the word. If you donate any amount $20 and up, you receive a T-shirt or a beautiful tote bag from us. You will also receive pictures of our distribution events to these girls.

Visit our Facebook and webpage to support us. As I indicated earlier, the need is much more than we know. Visit www.wiso2011.org and click the donation button. Oh our Facebook also has the donation button. You can contact us at wiso2011@gmail.com for details on how serious the problem is or for any other questions you have. We appreciate your help. www.wiso2011.org

All Eligible Individuals Should be able to Drive- Male or Female

WISO stands with women in Saudi Arabia for standing against cultural abuse!!! Yes, indeed, it is cultural abuse to discriminate against anyone for any reason. Gender is not a reason to prevent a woman from driving. We at WISO support these ...women's efforts to claim their rights to choose, to independence, freedom and to respect.

WISO urges men who love these women to support them in this important cause. We live in a modern society where technology including cars have become a necessity to success. Respecting your mothers, wives and daughters as fellow human beings is the greatest gift Allah asks of you.

We ask all those who stand with these women to like this comment. Support in any form is necessary to motivate action. These women need moral support to prevail. They have taken the most significant step. Let us stand with them.

The world cannot just stand and watch. Express your opinion.
Read more about these women's situation below.
http://www.cnn.com/2013/10/26/world/meast/saudi-arabia-women-drivers/