Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Say Something When You See Domestic Violence

Last year there was too much news about domestic violence. This should not be happening!! This year, our organization is declaring to expose domestic violence and any abuse to help protect those in abuse. Domestic Violence is a reality in our country and everywhere else. Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten. Around the world, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime. In the year 2000, 246,000 women survived rape and sexual assault. Most often, the abuser is a member of her own family. According to the attorney general office, there were 131 people murdered during a domestic violence incident in North Carolina in 2010. Of those killed, 99 were women, 32 were male, and most of the offenders were male (103 male offenders and 25 female offenders. In Eastern North Carolina, 7,432 cases of aggravated assault were reported in 2010.  556 cases of rap were reported in 2010. In Pitt County alone, 568   cases of assault were reported in 2010 and 32 cases of rape were reported the same year.

In a study by the U.S. Centers for Disease control of 5,000 college students at over 100 colleges, 20% of women answered "yes" to the question "In your lifetime have you been forced to submit to sexual intercourse against your will?"Female Genital Cutting (FGC) a practice associated with African, Middle Eastern and some Asian countries is a common cultural abuse of girl and women. It is estimated that 100 to 140 million girls worldwide are living with the consequences of FGC. According to the UN, the UN, at least 2 million girls a year experience genital mutilation globally, approximately 6,000 new cases every day-five girls every minute. This practice mostly carried out on young girls sometime between infancy and age 15 years in on the increase in developing countries like the United States due to immigration.These statistics are a mere misrepresentation as many do not report their experiences. 

Sexual trafficking is on the increase in our world today.  About 293,000 children in the U.S. are in danger of being sexually trafficked. Pimps commonly sell minor girls for $400.00 an hour on America’s streets and the girls received none of the money.

Honor killings, a practice commonly found in Middle Eastern countries is slowly creeping into developed countries. About 5,000 honor killings occur annually. Many more are not reported or disguised as suicide, accidents etc. For instance, in 2009, a phoenix jury convicted an Iraqi Muslim of killing his 20 year old college daughter by deliberately running over her with a car for refusing an arranged marriage and for being too westernized. In 2008, a Muslim man from Jonesboro, GA strangled his own to death in her bed with a bungee cord because she wanted a divorce from an older man who she was forced to marry. 

Those who care, help us stop domestic violence by donating to WISO. Send your donations even $5 dollars are accepted so we can help a victim/ or survivor transition from an abusive relationship. You may save a life by your generous action. Mail donations to  P.O. Box 3043 Greenville NC 27858 or visit Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/WISO/144978142239603. Email wiso2011@gmail.com

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Happy New Year News!!!

Happy new year our readers everywhere around the world. We express our sincere gratitude at your support in all the ways you have been there for us in hard and good times. We appreciate that and want too let you know that the struggle  continues over here and your support is still needed. Aluta continua!!! 

It is really hard to be hopeful in our world today with all the bad news happening in various corners in our society. I would like to pause and send our condolences to all victims of terrorism in France and elsewhere. We vehemently condemn any behavior that targets the innocent. We condemn hijacking of good religions to propagate political or person agendas. God, who is Allah does not condone any violence against innocent lives. God as described in the Torah, the Bible and the Qur'an condemns killers, murders and hypocrites. It is common sense that God condemns evil.

Good Muslims know that Allah does not condone terrorism. True Muslims know the difference so lets not blame the religion for actions of a few disgruntled human beings. Evil doers will and should not discourage us to pursue right. God will always triumph, so we can and should not give up hope. We have to stand our ground and stand for our values if we have to continue to thrive. If we stand with God, the devil will retreat. Lets stand with God.

I want to apologize for WISO organization that in December we were unable to post much for our readers due to unavoidable circumstances. We are back in the new year and we are ready as usual to go forward in inspiring each other and to care about those in abusive relationships. So don't give up, there are gliches in life as usual. Don't let these hinder your progress. Here at WISO we are not different.

Good news though!!! WISO has been on the move to a new location. Our new location is 2531 S. Memorial Drive, Greenville NC, 27858. So those who want to contact us through snail mail, do so using that mail or you can use our P.O Box 3043, Greenville, NC 27836.

Our mission remains the same. With this new location we plan to be more lucrative and productive and with your support as usual, we are gearing for better greater things. Most importantly, we should remember is those we are standing for. Those who struggle with abuse in various forms in their lives.
 Our new feature is workshops at our new location. You are all invited to sign up for workshop sessions in person or by webinar to participate in our discussions on abuse in our societies. We also feature educative films to help facilitate discussions. Rummage sales are on. We are accepting donations for that.

I want to invite readers who so wish to consider sending us articles so we can publish on our blog and in our WISO Newsletter. Stories help to educate the community and others about issues of abuse, especially those that are committed in the name of culture or religion. Do you know a friend who is suffering from abuse and would like to tell her/ his story anonymously? We will pay you $50 to publish it,if we approve it. As you can see, the world could use some knowledge. Schools aren't doing enough. We have to reach the entire community in many ways. We need to reach out to many especially those who are not able to go to school or attend courses that teach these values.

I hope to hear from you and I want to end again by wishing you the best this year. Spread the word and we can together save a life, give hope, make someone laugh and who knows, maybe change a life. Visit our website to support us in kind and refer your friends to help us voice out our concerns. Changes are happening to our website as well and will be revealed soon. bear with us.

Cheers!!!!
WISo President
Mary

Friday, November 14, 2014

New Book

Hello friends and those interested in my work on abuse. I am writing to announce the publication of my book on Female Genital Cutting in Industrialized Countries. the book just got released on October 31, 2014. I am excited to share with you all experiences of children and  women in industrialized countries who live with the challenge of coming from communities that embrace this cultural practice -  http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51Acl57n77L._AA160_.jpg

While female genital cutting is embraced in certain communities in Africa, Asia and middle east as a cultural tradition, this practice is not necessarily associated with any religion because it was performed way before these religions were established. Except in indigenous communities where certain values were used to justify it, it is not justified by any scripture. In some cases we find religious leaders justifying it, hence making it difficult for some religious individuals to determine its religious implications. When as a cultural practice, female genital cutting should not be condemned, in some cases, children and women who are exposed to it are left to suffer health consequences, some of which are very severe and long term. It is because of this that the World Health Organization intervened.

In the book, I acknowledge that the practice is controversial and that different people have different opinions about the practice. I highlight political nuances that have also influenced  the discussion on the practice. Ultimately, women's interfaith support organization works at protecting children and women who do not want to be exposed to the practice.

In summary, the book comprehensively reviews existing intervention programs and community-based initiatives that protect the rights of children and women who live with the serious risks and long-term consequences of female genital mutilation.

Why is FGM is on the increase in industrialized countries in spite of existing policies against the practice? How is political correctness contributing to this increase? And how does religion contribute implicitly or explicitly to the persistence of FGM? Read        This work is authored by a Kenyan immigrant to the United States who recognizes the necessity of better protection of women’s rights regarding FGM in first-world nations and the need for these countries to recognize this issue as a serious challenge to values and health services. 

The book provides complete information about the practice of female genital cutting, explaining its origin, identifying the countries where this practice is common, and documenting the rise of FGM in industrialized nations. The second half of the book examines existing intervention programs with the goal of improving the situation by way of transforming policies, addressing the legal aspects of the issue, and improving health care services. A powerful resource for college and university level students in the humanities, social science, and medical fields, this book will also serve general readers with interest in examining challenges women grapple with internationally.

Features
• Provides complete coverage of the practice of female genital mutilation (FGM), the origin of the practice, the countries of prevalence, and the current rise of the practice in industrialized countries
• Addresses a controversial issue that encompasses various scholarly disciplines such as religious studies, gender studies, anthropology, sociology, history, philosophy, international studies, and medicine, amongst others
• Explains why FGM needs to be a subject that professional medical doctors are educated on in order to provide special health care services to help serve the individuals within this significant community

Sample Topics
Cultural Rights vs. Human Rights
Culture and Immigrants in Industrialized Countries
Culture and Social Change
Gender and Sexuality
Genital Reconstruction
Health Issues associated with FGM
Origins of FGM
Policies against FGM in Industrialized Countries
Religion and Female Genital Mutilation (FGM)
Religion and Sexuality
Religious Leaders as Agents of Social Change
Specialized Health Care Services for Immigrants

I share this book because it helps elucidate why this cultural legitimate practice is categorized as a form of domestic violence and abuse. 

Visit this site for a copy and refer your friends to it as well. As we say at Wiso, knowledge is power. Knowledge gives us the motivation to act and to protect our children, women- girls, daughters, mothers from a lifelong of suffering. Visit this site http://www.amazon.com/Female-Genital-Cutting-Industrialized-Countries/dp/144083346X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1416031119&sr=1-1&keywords=nyangweso+mary&pebp=1416031123272. Good luck reading. I will answer any questions you have. 

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Prevent Sexual Assault

Sexual assault is the worst form of domestic violence. I speak from experience and deeply feel for anyone who has gone through this horrible act. unfortunately most victims are not believed, which makes it even more hurtful. It is even worse when one has to be killed for resisting sexual assault. it says a lot about how sick our society has become.

As the year draws to the end, I thought we should reflect upon the rights of our children. I say this because I can’t seem to shake the bad taste in my mouth brought by recent news stories that continue to dominate the media about the abuse of our children. In December 23, 2011, there was this story in the media about a mother who send her eight year old daughter into prostitution. An eight year old? Some of you must be wondering. Yes, indeed. The Huffington post ran a story about a Florida Mom, who allegedly offered up her 8-year-old daughter for prostitution. According to Panama City Police Sgt. Jeff Becker, Mims was at a Panama City business when she approached a random male stranger and offered her daughter to him for $100. Mims allegedly told the man that her daughter "would do anything the male wanted and would not tell anyone about it." God bless the man who displayed moral maturity by immediately reporting the incident to police. As Renee Willoughby, the executive board president of the  Gulf Coast Children's Advocacy Center, has correctly observed, "Everyone is horrified that this happened in our community, but, unfortunately, it is something that happens somewhere every day. It is just beyond words."

When trusted people in our society fail us, they should receive the ultimate punishment. Priests should be dismissed from their priestly roles while parents should be denied the opportunity to be a parent. If we cannot count on the most trusted members of our society – parents, pastors, Imams, Rabbis and other religious leaders – then our society needs to be refurbished.  Those with the spine to stand for humane values ought to do it to protect our society.  It is for this reason I write to implore our readers, especially religious leaders to advocate and protect our children. I believe my readers can do something to protect all children everywhere as well. If you see or suspect something is going on, do not dismiss it. Voice it!! Remember, where there is smoke, there often fire. Our children look upon us. Let’s not let them down.  Enjoy your happy holidays and I wish you all a prosperous, moral new year.
What was more heartbreaking was the hunging of a woman in Iran for killing a supposedly rapist. No one knows the truth in this situation. All I can say is that if she was killed for defending herself from a rapist, then our morals are upside down. The devil is always in the details. I have learnt never to discount words of anyone who cries rapist. I couldn’t help but read carefully her last words; her last wishes in life. Read for yourself.
"Dear Sholeh, today I learned that it is now my turn to face Qisas (the Iranian regime's law of retribution). I am hurt as to why you did not let me know yourself that I have reached the last page of the book of my life. Don’t you think that I should know? You know how ashamed I am that you are sad. Why did you not take the chance for me to kiss your hand and that of dad?

The world allowed me to live for 19 years. That ominous night it was I that should have been killed. My body would have been thrown in some corner of the city, and after a few days, the police would have taken you to the coroner’s office to identify my body and there you would also learn that I had been raped as well. The murderer would have never been found since we don’t have their wealth and their power. Then you would have continued your life suffering and ashamed, and a few years later you would have died of this suffering and that would have been that.

However, with that cursed blow the story changed. My body was not thrown aside, but into the grave of Evin Prison and its solitary wards, and now the grave-like prison of Shahr-e Ray. But give in to the fate and don’t complain. You know better that death is not the end of life.

You taught me that one comes to this world to gain an experience and learn a lesson and with each birth a responsibility is put on one’s shoulder. I learned that sometimes one has to fight. I do remember when you told me that the carriage man protested the man who was flogging me, but the flogger hit the lash on his head and face that ultimately led to his death. You told me that for creating a value one should persevere even if one dies.
You taught us that as we go to school one should be a lady in face of the quarrels and complaints. Do you remember how much you underlined the way we behave? Your experience was incorrect. When this incident happened, my teachings did not help me. Being presented in court made me appear as a cold-blooded murderer and a ruthless criminal. I shed no tears. I did not beg. I did not cry my head off since I trusted the law.
But I was charged with being indifferent in face of a crime. You see, I didn’t even kill the mosquitoes and I threw away the cockroaches by taking them by their antennas. Now I have become a premeditated murderer. My treatment of the animals was interpreted as being inclined to be a boy and the judge didn’t even trouble himself to look at the fact that at the time of the incident I had long and polished nails.

How optimistic was he who expected justice from the judges! He never questioned the fact that my hands are not coarse like those of a sportswoman, especially a boxer. And this country that you planted its love in me never wanted me and no one supported me when under the blows of the interrogator I was crying out and I was hearing the most vulgar terms. When I shed the last sign of beauty from myself by shaving my hair I was rewarded: 11 days in solitary.

Dear Sholeh, don’t cry for what you are hearing. On the first day that in the police office an old unmarried agent hurt me for my nails I understood that beauty is not looked for in this era. The beauty of looks, beauty of thoughts and wishes, a beautiful handwriting, beauty of the eyes and vision, and even beauty of a nice voice.

My dear mother, my ideology has changed and you are not responsible for it. My words are unending and I gave it all to someone so that when I am executed without your presence and knowledge, it would be given to you. I left you much handwritten material as my heritage.

However, before my death I want something from you, that you have to provide for me with all your might and in any way that you can. In fact this is the only thing I want from this world, this country and you. I know you need time for this. Therefore, I am telling you part of my will sooner. Please don’t cry and listen. I want you to go to the court and tell them my request. I cannot write such a letter from inside the prison that would be approved by the head of prison; so once again you have to suffer because of me. It is the only thing that if even you beg for it I would not become upset although I have told you many times not to beg to save me from being executed.

My kind mother, dear Sholeh, the one more dear to me than my life, I don’t want to rot under the soil. I don’t want my eye or my young heart to turn into dust. Beg so that it is arranged that as soon as I am hanged my heart, kidney, eye, bones and anything that can be transplanted be taken away from my body and given to someone who needs them as a gift. I don’t want the recipient know my name, buy me a bouquet, or even pray for me. I am telling you from the bottom of my heart that I don’t want to have a grave for you to come and mourn there and suffer. I don’t want you to wear black clothing for me. Do your best to forget my difficult days. Give me to the wind to take away.

The world did not love us. It did not want my fate. And now I am giving in to it and embrace the death. Because in the court of God I will charge the inspectors, I will charge inspector Shamlou, I will charge judge, and the judges of country’s Supreme Court that beat me up when I was awake and did not refrain from harassing me. In the court of the creator I will charge Dr. Farvandi, I will charge Qassem Shabani and all those that out of ignorance or with their lies wronged me and trampled on my rights and didn’t pay heed to the fact that sometimes what appears as reality is different from it.

Dear soft-hearted Sholeh, in the other world it is you and me who are the accusers and others who are the accused. Let’s see what God wants. I wanted to embrace you until I die. I love you.”

Reyhaneh,
1 April, 2014
Message translated by the National Council of Resistance of Iran (NCRI)

May she rest in peace. To read more about the stories I referenced, visit the following links:
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/final-message-of-woman-executed-in-iran-for-killing-attempted-rapist-dear-mum-dont-cry-9820117.html
http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/12/13/us-usa-crime-coach

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/23/paul-kunzler-arrested-utah

Saturday, September 20, 2014

No to Domestic Violence!!!

There is too much news about domestic violence. This is an indicator that this is a serious problem in our society. Therefore, it is important to remind everyone our position on this issue. Women's Interfaith Support Organization does not tolerate domestic violence in any form it may appear. This includes behavior that excuses or ignores the seriousness of this abuse.Anyone who condones, promotes or engages in domestic violence does not deserve to be a role model, a leader or to be in a privileged position.

Domestic Violence is a reality in our country and everywhere else. Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten. Around the world, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime. In the year 2000, 246,000 women survived rape and sexual assault. Most often, the abuser is a member of her own family. According to the attorney general office, there were 131 people murdered during a domestic violence incident in North Carolina in 2010. Of those killed, 99 were women, 32 were male, and most of the offenders were male (103 male offenders and 25 female offenders. In Eastern North Carolina, 7,432 cases of aggravated assault were reported in 2010.  556 cases of rap were reported in 2010. In Pitt County alone, 568   cases of assault were reported in 2010 and 32 cases of rape were reported the same year.  

In a study by the U.S. Centers for Disease control of 5,000 college students at over 100 colleges, 20% of women answered "yes" to the question "In your lifetime have you been forced to submit to sexual intercourse against your will?"Female Genital Cutting (FGC) a practice associated with African, Middle Eastern and some Asian countries is a common cultural abuse of girl and women. It is estimated that 100 to 140 million girls worldwide are living with the consequences of FGC. According to the UN, the UN, at least 2 million girls a year experience genital mutilation globally, approximately 6,000 new cases every day-five girls every minute. This practice mostly carried out on young girls sometime between infancy and age 15 years in on the increase in developing countries like the United States due to immigration.
Sexual trafficking is on the increase in our world today.  About 293,000 children in the U.S. are in danger of being sexually trafficked. Pimps commonly sell minor girls for $400.00 an hour on America’s streets and the girls received none of the money.

Honor killings, a practice commonly found in Middle Eastern countries is slowly creeping into developed countries. About 5,000 honor killings occur annually. Many more are not reported or disguised as suicide, accidents etc. For instance, in 2009, a phoenix jury convicted an Iraqi Muslim of killing his 20 year old college daughter by deliberately running over her with a car for refusing an arranged marriage and for being too westernized. In 2008, a Muslim man from Jonesboro, GA strangled his own to death in her bed with a bungee cord because she wanted a divorce from an older man who she was forced to marry. Help Stop Abuse. We accept donation at WISO, P.O. Box 3043 Greenville NC 27858. Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/WISO/144978142239603. Email wiso2011@gmail.com

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Hope Conquers All!!


Once you have hope, anything is possible so says Christopher Reeve. It is however difficult to have hope when all seems hopeless, especially when you see life going on around you normally as if no one really cares what is happening to you. Yes, it hurts, especially when those who should care seem not to care. But sometimes knowing in your heart that all is not really lost is a way to fight back.  
A good example of hope is that displayed by the care of Michelle Knight, Amanda Berry and Gina Dejesus, reported in 2013. After 10 years in captivity and living in abuse, they were finally rescued from the monster who tortured them. Read more

Ibrahim, a Sudanese woman has been living a similar experience these few past months. Ibrahim, was condemned to die by hanging after she declined to profess she is a Muslim, the religion of her father. Sharia law considers her a Muslim and does not recognize her marriage to a Christian husband Daniel Wani. She declined to change her mind despite giving birth in prison.

Ibrahim was convicted of apostasy and adultery – a crime of abandoning her faith. She was eight months pregnant. She gave birth to a baby girl this week at a Khartoum prison, where she was  also detained with her 20-month-old son, Martin. In spite of this, she held firmly on to her beliefs despite the pressure on her from Muslim religious leaders that she should return to the Muslim faith. ,

It is unfortunate to see her go through this when her Islamic teachings clearly state that there is no compulsion in Islam. Prophet Muhammad taught that no one should be compelled to be a Muslim. Ibrahim’s narrative is also an illustration of the ignorance of some that the God of the Muslims – Allah is different from the God of Christians and the Jews. Why condemn a Muslim for converting to Christianity when in essence the God that is worshipped is the same one?

It was good news to those of us who were scared for her to see some glim of hope in Ibrahim released. Ibrahim who had been accused of apostasy had her death penalty sentence reverted after international outcry from human rights groups. On July 24, 2014, it was such happiness for all who care about social justice to see her united with her children and husband and in a meeting with the Pope in Italy as she prepares to return to the United States having been cleared of the charge of apostasy.

It is true that hope is all you can count on and it may surely conquer it all for you. Maya Angelou was right is saying that “God puts rainbows in the clouds so that each of us- in the dreariest and most dreaded moments – can see a possibility of hope.” Emily Dickinson also reminds us that “Hope is that thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without words and never stops…at all.” Friends, have hope, because that is all that matters when all is glim. It may just provide that light at the end of the tunnel.  

References

The Quote Garden, http://www.quotegarden.com/hope.html

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Because My Culture Says So!

                                                     

How many times have you heard people say, “I do it because it is my culture”? Many times, I assume. They say it all the time. You know, culture is great!! I love culture as well, because culture defines who we are. It gives us our identity. Culture connects us to our families, friends, and a history that is worth being proud of. Culture should make us proud as a people. It should make us feel human and feel wanted and needed. It should make us feel valued.

But wait, what about when culture is harmful? Should we embrace it?  Think about it?

In some communities, it is a cultural thing to discipline wives by whipping. Some women have been killed this way. In others, it is okay to perform female genital cuttings, - a process that involves  the trimming off of the clitoris, labia minora and labia majora and  sometimes sewing completely a woman's vagina leaving a tiny match stick size hole. This is done in order to protect her virginity and chastity. Some girls have died through such processes and many live with health issues that may include; pain, inflammation, swelling, urine retention, urinary tract infection, meatal obstruction and urinary strictures, keloids, dermoid cysts, introital and vaginal stenosis, neuromas, dysmenorrhea, hematocolpos, dyspareunia, infertility, obstructed labor during childbirth, hemorrhage, sepsis, infection, shock, and even death.[i]

In other cultures, it is alright to kill a baby girl after she is born just because the family is fearful of her dishonoring them when she grows up. In such societies, infanticide is alright as it is believed that girls are generally impulsive and likely to be promiscuous that the only way to prevent this is kill them at birth. In such cultures killing a woman who commits fornication, adultery or gets pregnant out of wedlock is common.  In some cultures, such a woman is buried alive or stoned to death.

In other cultures the birth of twins is an omen. Such children are to be thrown away in the forest and left for dead. Oh wait, did I mention that in other cultures it is alright to eat fellow human beings and of course wonderful to sacrifice humans? I could go on and on and on… Did I mention that rape is an acceptable cultural practice in some communities? This will be discussed in details in my next blog topic. I think the point is made!

While culture has positive benefits to the individual, it has its negative side as well. Culture can justify abusive behavior.
When culture undermines any ones welfare, especially health, it ought to be questioned. We should all do what we can to claim our human rights, and God’s creations. Our human worth is much more that what culture can offer. As rational beings, we should all claim our agency as individuals who can think for ourselves and make decisions for ourselves.  While we all love our families, communities, and our cultures, we should consider seriously what they expose us to. When they ask us to succumb to practices that harm us, we ought to stand up against them. Any culture that is proud of itself must protect the health and rights and general welfare of all its members.

Sometimes, this is not easy for some of us, though. That is why everyone needs a friend to turn to when situations like these happen. Be your sister’s and brother’s keeper. Be there for the unfortunate and for those who have no voice in society and probably don’t know how to resist abusive practices in their families, communities and societies in general. Say no to any form of abuse, Say yes to human rights.

Join us at WISO as we stand for the rights of all. We condemn any form of abuse whether cultural sanction or not. We stand for the welfare of the abused. We work to help empower them to say no to abuse. Join us and share your story. It can be inspirational to others. Support us in other ways to help change one life at a time.  Do not forget to visit our website at wiso2011.org and like us on facebook, tweeter, and share our concerns to all your friends. We can all make a change. Lives of millions depend on it. Remember, just one life at a time.

Peace!
WISO President
June 2014

[i] Turner, Dianne. 2007. “Female Genital Cutting: Implications for Nurses” AWHONN accessed at http://nwh.awhonn.org